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Active Retirement in a Community of Friends
by Leslie H. Cummins
If you held a contest to find a family that enjoyed the very best of life lived on the northshore, Jack and Kay Mincher would still be standing in the final round. They both had lengthy and successful careers: he as a geologist and she as a teacher. They raised three children, and built three houses here. They have more good friends than they can count on two hands, and today, well into their eighties, they are healthy, active participants in many community endeavors.
When you talk with them, there is nothing in their conversation that would indicate that this bright, energetic couple resided in a “retirement community.” If you mention this to them, they politely suggest that perhaps you need to change your idea of what a “retirement community” really is.
The year the Minchers celebrated their 80th birthdays, they decided it was time to move to Christwood. “Frankly,” Jack says, “many of our close friends were already there.” Two of their children had moved away from the northshore, and they were concerned that the one remaining would be burdened with their care. “We planned from the beginning—before the Christwood facility was built—to move here when we retired. When we turned eighty, we decided it was time to go!” What could have been a sorrowful decision was, in fact, joyful, as they joined a close-knit community of long-time friends and neighbors.
The Minchers’ move to Christwood is not necessarily exemplary of many seniors’ struggle with the decision to move to a retirement home. “Most elderly people struggle with the decision,” says Executive Officer Stephen Holzhalb, D. Min. Known as “Reverend Steve,” he is an enthusiastic, energetic man who has trouble getting out only one word at a time. “As people age, the first thing they notice is that their pool of friends starts to shrink. Friends move away, go to live with their children or die. Eventually, all seniors have to stop driving, and give up their mobility, as well. Their opportunities for social interaction diminish almost daily until they stop going out at all.
“When they make the decision to come to Christwood, they find that they have joined a large, friendly social circle with as many friends as they want to see.” His bright eyes sparkle, as if he knows a wonderful secret. “They get their mobility back, too,” he says, “because we will do everything we can to facilitate any activity they want to pursue.” Rev. Steve waves in the general direction of the short, grey bus idling outside under the covered entrance. In fact, transportation is provided to shopping, church, medical visits, and other scheduled community activities, as well as field trips. For longer excursions, a huge interstate-equipped bus waits in the back parking lot.
“I have Steve’s Rule, which is not to do anything for the residents that they can do for themselves. They have thought up service projects and found volunteer activities throughout the community and beyond. Our job as staff is to find a way for them to complete those things they want to do.” The corollary to Steve’s Rule is to do everything possible to make sure that all residents meet and exceed their own expectations.
Seniors in Service
When the devastation from Hurricane Katrina first became apparent, Christwood resident Theo Harvey, an avid sports fisherman familiar with the Delacroix area, gathered his friends and neighbors together and asked for their help to do something positive for the St. Bernard Parish village. The residents came up with a project they call “Delacroix-To-Go.” Twice each month they pack up pantry and home-related staples for delivery to each of the thirty families that make up the traditional Isleño village of Delacroix. Filled with the usual essentials—coffee, red beans, rice, grits, fresh fruit and canned milk—the residents load up SUVs and drive from Covington to Delacroix to deliver the packages.
Going one step further, Theo contacted Home Depot and asked for the company’s help in building an air-conditioned structure to hold washing machines and dryers for the residents of the demolished village. Home Depot provided a ready-made structure, the residents of Christwood furnished two brand new washers and dryers, and Christwood provided the maintenance staff to install them. The residents of Delacroix now have a raised building that serves as a town gathering place and free washateria. The project was supported by a cooperative effort between private citizens, local business and St. Bernard Parish officials.
On a daily basis, many residents of Christwood volunteer at local hospitals and schools. Kay Mincher tutors math at Mandeville Elementary, while other residents help reluctant readers at Lyons Elementary in north Covington. On a regular schedule, Christwood volunteers gather clothing and other household items to be donated to Habitat for Humanity. “It’s important for our residents to be one-hundred percent engaged,” says Rev. Steve. “These volunteer opportunities provide a way for them to live with dignity and independence. That’s the mission of Christwood.”
With Dignity and Independence
Osborn and Pricilla Barrett made the decision to move from their Metairie home to Christwood during the initial phase of development. “We had a choice of any retirement community,” says Pricilla, as her face breaks into a broad smile. She has a trace of an accent, and a no-nonsense Dutch-boy hairdo. Her happy, friendly demeanor seems to welcome conversation. “We were among the first people to move into the Independent Living facility, and we have been at Christwood over 10 years. It has been wonderful.”
The Barretts felt a sense of urgency during that time: Osborn’s health was beginning to fail, and Pricilla noticed that he was having cognitive difficulties. Now struggling with Alzheimer’s and/or Parkinson’s disease, Osborn has been moved into the Skilled Nursing Unit, while Pricilla has an apartment on the quiet Assisted Living hallway.
“When we first came,” Pricilla says, “we had a beautiful two-bedroom apartment upstairs, with a wrap-around balcony that faced west. I love to garden, and I kept all of my plants on the balcony. We would sit out there every evening and watch the sunset.” When she moved into the Assisted Living Unit on the other side of the building, her plants moved into a large communal screened porch. “There were more than one hundred of them then,” she smiles. The porch is now a glassed-in meeting room with a large kitchen, where residents gather for coffee and conversation. Down the hall a short distance is a white-tablecloth dining room for the residents of Assisted Living. “I have a full day just to read the paper and visit with my husband—but I always make it on time for lunch!” she laughs.
“No one is restricted from leaving the Assisted Living Unit,” explains Rev. Steve. “Many of them come down to the main dining room, which features Southern cuisine and seafood. They come to visit with their friends who live in the Independent Living Unit, or to attend one of the many concerts or Happy Hours in the main building. In fact, we have one gentleman whose wife died recently who has moved from Independent to Assisted Living. He has coffee with his new neighbors early in the morning, then comes down to the Independent Living meeting room to have coffee with his old neighbors. He is always busy, and seems to be enjoying his new living arrangements.”
Pricilla leaves her apartment daily to visit with her husband in the Skilled Nursing Unit, where he receives constant, hands-on nursing attention. “When we were still in Independent Living, Osborn fell several times,” says Pricilla, as her usually smiling eyes grow serious. “I would press the emergency button, and one of the nurses would come right away. We always felt like we were being taken care of. When his health grew worse, they helped me take care of him.” She motions toward the door with her head, and her eyes fill with tears, “I don’t know how I would take care of him without their help.”
From down the hall comes the faint echo of hammers. Through broad, clean, glass doors, work is continuing on an addition to the Assisted Living hallway. It will hold ten new apartments for residents, and a new, larger, dining facility. Tall, wide windows in that dining room look out onto an atrium created by two older wings and the new addition. It will be protected by limited access to the outside, a safe haven for those who are forgetful of their surroundings.
“It will be a garden,” says Pricilla. “It will have beautiful plants, and wide walkways—wide enough for two wheel chairs.” She struggles to smile. “There will be a place for my husband and me to sit and hold hands.”
A Family of Friends
Down the hall from Pricilla Barrett’s one-bedroom apartment is the nursing unit for the Assisted Living facility. Certified Nursing Assistant Tish Dillon is rarely found in the facility office, preferring instead to spend her time in the rooms with the residents. She has sparking eyes, a wide smile, and a caring countenance. “I treat them like my own family,” she says, when asked to explain exactly what she does to earn the devotion she receives from residents such as the Barretts. “I try to think what I would want someone to do for my parents or grandparents.” She’s been caring for Christwood’s less-mobile residents for over seven years. “I’ve been here so long, it feels like many of them are my family,” she says, softly. “I’ve been called to do this.”
Representative of Christwood’s dedicated and caring staff, Tish admits that she is happy to come to work each day. “Tish is one of my favorite people,” says Pricilla. “She is always finding ways to help. It’s the people who make Christwood a special place, and I don’t mean just the staff. The residents, too. They care about each other. It’s like having a big family.” And that has made all the difference.
