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Dedicated to Dad

by Stacey Paretti Rase

Dads don’t usually demand much. They’re not big on receiving gifts and they don’t revel in compliments as women do. In fact, when you shower them with attention, they’re most likely to get red in the face and mumble something like, “Aw, don’t do that.” I know my dad was that way. He was also like most other dads in that he never wanted us to go out of our way to pick out fancy gifts for Father’s Day. In fact, in all of my 32 years with him, I can’t remember him ever even using any of the gifts I gave him on “his” day—save one. It was a silly little monkey with Velcro arms that I bought, with my own money, at a Mandeville Middle School craft day when I was around 11 years old. He strapped that goofy thing onto the lamp next to his favorite chair in the den and—much to my mother’s chagrin, I’m sure—there it hung for many years. Looking back on it now, I guess it wasn’t the extravagant gifts that he cherished, but really the little things that we gave back to him that made him happiest. (Although when we gave him an industrial “Bobcat” one Christmas, he was as excited as a little boy getting his first new bike!)

In the spirit of giving back this Father’s Day, we asked our readers to tell us why their dad or other father figure is the best around. What follows are some of the loving tributes we received. We hope that each serves as a simple gift that these men will cherish forever.

Jim Noel
Submitted by daughter
Missie Arata Noel

Sadly enough, I am reading your “call for stories” regarding great fathers as I am sitting next to my father’s hospital bed. He is in the end stage of a valiant struggle with lung and brain cancer. Without question and without hesitation, my dad is and always will be one of the greatest men I will ever know.

I think his humor and his wisdom are his greatest traits. There’s something to be said about a father who can explain the reasoning behind a punishment and make you walk away smiling at the same time. There has never been a time in my life when Dad wasn’t available to me—for advice, comfort, love and the latest joke.

One of my favorite memories is of a trip my dad and I took together to go white water rafting. We were both a little nervous, and when our guide fell off the back of our raft during the first big rapid, I can clearly recall Daddy looking me in the eye, saying “Looks like it’s just you and me, kid—hang on!” and singing the tune of “Deliverance”! We made it, and we did it together. I share that same sense of adventure with my own children, and I’m certain we will share many “rapids” in the future and be reminded of Poppy.

Serving his parish as an attorney for over 45 years, Dad has been counted on as a community leader, event speaker and an advocate for many charities, yet he has always been most comfortable at home, or in the backyard right next to Mom. A great father isn’t necessarily the one that you read about in the paper, or the one who attends every graduation and special event or even the one who gives all the tractor rides to the grandchildren. A great father is the one whose unconditional love will remain in your heart and memory forever.

I love you, Daddy. You ARE the greatest dad ever!

Editor’s Note: Sadly, Mr. Noel passed away just days after we received Missie’s letter. Our condolences go out to her and her family. We hope this letter will serve as a caring reminder to Mr. Noel’s family of how much he is loved and will be missed.

Jack Donahue
Submitted by daughter
Lauren Laudun

The bond that I have with my dad has been years in the making, so to briefly summarize it and give it the credit it deserves may only give you a glimpse of how lucky I am. My dad has not only given me someone to look up to, he has given me a reason to believe. He has taught me countless lessons about life, but of all the things that he has done to influence me, the example that he has set for me to follow has inspired me the most.

My dad’s God-given talents and abilities, along with his determination to succeed, have not only made him a good businessman; they’ve made him a respectable one. He is the perfect example of a self-made man who has worked tirelessly for any and everything that he has. When my dad commits himself to doing something, he gives his all, regardless of what it is. Above and beyond any accomplishments that he has achieved professionally, I look up to my dad because he knows what truly makes the man. He has taught me that if I want to live a fulfilled life, I must first place my faith in God. His faith and involvement in the church have been a very important and integral part of his life. The relationship that he has with my mom has been a standard to which I hold every relationship—it’s that strong and it’s that real. He knows the value of family and has made sure that ours is a strong one. He has also taught me that of all the people that may come and go in my life, through the best and worst of times, the ones that I should count on are family.

Dad has always been there for me to encourage and support me and to show me that there is such a thing as unconditional love. He believes in my ability to accomplish anything that I put my mind to, without doubt or consequence. At times in my life when I have lacked confidence in my ability or myself, my dad’s faith in me has brought me comfort and strength.

A few years ago, my grandmother passed away, my mom’s mother. It was quite a loss for my family, which is to be expected. When given the opportunity [at her funeral] to say a few words about my grandma, my dad stood up. I was surprised, being that it was his mother-in-law and a task that not many people are up to doing. That day my dad truly moved me. He not only honored my grandmother’s life in the most perfect way imaginable, but he proved that he is the rock in our family. He had the ability to be strong during a very difficult time and shed light on a situation that needed it the most. That was a profound moment in my life. I saw a leader before my eyes and it was my dad. I was proud.

My dad makes me want to be a better person and, in my opinion, there is no greater compliment. Thanks, Dad, for just being you.

Rick O’Krepki
Submitted by
son and daughter
Ryan and Sara,
ages 10 and 11

Our dad is the most special dad in the world. Everybody knows him as Coach Rick. That’s because he always gets asked to help coach our teams—volleyball, baseball, softball, basketball and now golf. He always helps at practices and works with everybody to help them get better. He makes practice fun!  

Daddy takes us to fun places. He likes to travel. He always says, “The world is like a book. If you don’t travel, you only see one page.” We’ve been to many places in the United States and the Bahamas.

Daddy is really funny and he makes us laugh. Most of all, he loves us so much—and we love him too! Happy Father’s Day, Daddy!

“Big Brother” Frank A.
Submitted by Brandon V., age 11, matched with his Big Brother since July 7, 2006

To my Big Brother Frank A.,
I have many favorite memories with you, like four-wheeling, going to your music studios and Saints games—but the Sugar Bowl was the best! I like you because you are a good guy and can play Playstation and like sports as much as I do. Some things I have learned from you are to respect my mother and keep my mind set on my goals.

What I admire most about you is that you are very loving to me. I am glad that I have you as a Big Brother because you take me places that other people can’t.

There isn’t anything else I want to say about you because someone might come and steal you away!

Vincent Foley
Submitted by daughter
Kathy Foley

My father is 93 and he is still my role model. Dad is very healthy both mentally and physically. He still drives, maintains two yards, manages his investments, cooks for my mother and reads three papers a day. I am very close to both of my parents, who live in Kansas City, Missouri. I talk nightly with them. I fly home three to four times a year to visit and they typically come to the south [during] January and February to stay with me.

My father was a Kansas City worker all of his life and he taught me ethics, fair treatment of everyone and not to play politics. I learned from him the meaning of hard work, what a good work ethic was and that when you work for the public you give 110 percent.

Our family was a sports family. As soon as Dad got home from work, we packed up the car and headed for one of the three kids’ games or practices. My parents taught me a love of sports. Dad coached my sister and me from the time we were 7 to high school. He taught us to be smart athletes and to develop a love for the sports. Dad taught me that you have to work hard to achieve goals, whether in sports or in business. Dad is actually a reserved man. He is not a yeller, he didn’t drink and he rarely lost his temper. His behavior and ability to work with people earned him the respect of his children, players or employees.

Recently, while visiting Kansas City, I ran into an old grade-school friend who asked about my parents. She said that they made such a difference in her life through sports. She came from a very dysfunctional family, had no parent involvement and sports was her safety net. She said she developed self confidence and self worth because my parents coached her for four years, cared about her, took her places and made her realize she was important. I told her I knew exactly how she felt, as I learned the same lessons from them. My parents taught me that you can make a difference in children’s lives through sports and recreation and that is why I have a degree in Recreation and Parks Administration and am presently the Director of Recreation District #1—Pelican Park in Mandeville. By instilling a love of sports and the positive impact sports can have on children and adults, they have shaped my life forever.

My father taught me ethics which I use every day to try to treat the public fairly and honestly. The most important thing my father taught me was to hear all sides of an issue before making judgment. This is so important in my position as Director of Pelican Park, as the first version of a situation is usually not always the complete truth and the decisions I have to make professionally affect people’s lives.

My father taught me life skills from a very young age. He taught me to problem-solve, budget money and learn how to navigate directions. He used to make me serve as the “co-pilot” on our trips and vacations. I learned to how to read maps, look for signs and learned directions. My father is truly a role model for me. I greatly admire how he has led his life with dignity, ethics, leadership, compassion and a love of family.

John Jay Dahmer Sr.
Submitted by daughter
Jamene Dahmer

It’s true. No matter how old we get, daughters always love their fathers. And if you’re a daughter like me, you still call him “Daddy.” I grew up one of the lucky ones. My dad has been the kind of role model that every child should have. He is loving and caring; he taught his kids the value of working hard to achieve their goals in life; and he taught us to value our family, friends and community. Most of all, he has shown us he loves us through his actions and his words.

Growing up, I knew my dad worked hard to support his family. But as an adult I learned what real sacrifices he made, without question, for his family. He has this attitude that if one door closes, you look for another one to open. That belief has been one that has served me well.

As a kid, and adult, I have watched and learned from my father. I have seen him constantly striving to move forward and to grow as a person. I have watched him go out of his way to help someone who needed a hand up. My dad instilled in his kids one of the best work ethics you could hope for and he also showed us [that] helping others had its own rewards.

With such a great sense of humor, my dad has provided me with some of the best memories you could hope for. Once, on Christmas Eve, my dad had my grandmother stand outside the house and shake some Christmas bells. Of course, we kids went running to our beds screaming “Santa’s here, Santa’s here!” Another time, on Halloween, he and a friend snuck outside of our bedrooms and stood at the windows with flashlights streaming off and on across their faces. Were we ever scared out of our minds!

I have gotten my love of traveling from my father. I also got my sense of adventure from him. My father was a “Screaming Eagle” of the Army’s 101st Airborne division—that means he jumped out of planes a lot. I love the time that I showed him a video I had taken of me doing my first skydive from 12,500 feet. He couldn’t believe I did it, but I quickly pointed out it was he who started it!
One time I asked my dad why he didn’t take me hunting like the boys. The next weekend he woke me up at 4:30a.m., told me to get dressed, and off we went into the woods.

Once, he gave me a gift with tears in his eyes. It was a framed photograph entitled “Cowgirls at the Roundup” of a large group of women, back in 1911, who were striking out on their own and making their own way. This print had touched him because it made him think of me. Now I can’t look at that photo hanging on my wall without thinking of my father.

Our lives aren’t like a Norman Rockwell painting, or even like the “Cleavers.” We’ve had our ups and downs like every family. But my dad helped us learn that obstacles can be overcome with the love of your family and friends. He has enjoyed watching his children grow and has made sure we know that he loves us and is proud of us. I know one thing: I love my dad, and I couldn’t be more proud of being his daughter.

Darryl Mierl
Submitted by wife
Mary Mierl

My husband’s dad died when he was only ten years old. His dad was 42 years old and died of a heart attack. While life goes on, it’s an impressionable event at a young age, and he lived his childhood with a sense of missing out on something that everyone else seemed to have.

As our own children approached ten years old, he wanted to make sure that they had good memories of that time period. As he recalled, “You start developing memories at that age and I want to make sure that my kids have happy, not sad memories when they are ten years old.” So when each child of ours turned ten, my husband would take that child on a one-week “vacation adventure.” They would be together 24/7 during that time, not only to have fun but get to know each other better and in special way that was separate from being part of a family of five.

In 2001, [our daughter] Carolyn and Darryl went to California. They started in San Francisco, went to Muir Woods, went to a fancy restaurant and decided to try every roller coaster on the west coast. 

In 2005, [our son] Jack and Darryl went to Colorado to a luxury dude ranch. They fished, rode horses, hiked and went white water rafting while being treated to the finest of amenities. It was “roughing it” in style.

In 2007, our youngest child, Grace, and Darryl again went to Colorado, but they went with a different mission: for Grace to see snow for the first time. Well, they had tons of it! They rode horses, went skiing and sledding. They built snowmen and snow angels. They went dog sledding and snow shoeing under the night time Colorado sky.

In every case, each child had a magical time with their dad and happy memories at ten years old to last a lifetime. In fact, their trips have inspired other dads that we know to take similar adventures together with their child.

I am grateful that Darryl has been able to do this for each of our children, and as Grace summed it up in her trip journal, “The trip met all my expectations. I know my Daddy loves me very much.” What more can you ask?
 
Scott Quillin
Submitted by stepson,
Adam Duris, age 18

If you ask me who my hero is I would not hesitate to tell you. The hero of my life is Scott Quillin, who graciously accepted his taking a role in my life. When my parents got divorced, my mom was alone with little income. Mr. Scott came into our lives and helped us financially, physically and fit the last piece of the puzzle in our family. He lives with us in our house and works for a company of electrical engineers. He enjoys his job and comes home to continue helping.

Mr. Scott helps with the dishes, yard work and helps my mom clean. He will always put his projects down to help us, even if his job is important. For the past three months, he has been helping me rebuild my truck and it is finally finished. We work on his truck and his garage projects. Many of the things I know now I have learned from him. I constantly ask him questions and he never gets frustrated. I have never met anyone more patient or someone more willing to give up their time to help.

He has taught me a lot of discipline throughout my years growing up, and I greatly appreciate it. My manners have improved and the way I treat women has especially improved. He does not tolerate being disrespectful to women. He does not appreciate rudeness or disrespect. All he asks for is respect and he will return it.

The main reason he is my hero is because he is one of the smartest, nicest, well-mannered people I know. He is a great stepdad to my siblings and me. He treats my mom wonderfully, and that is the most important thing to me. Mr. Scott stepped into a family of a divorced wife with three kids and willingly accepted it. This must have been very hard to do, and I respect him for that. He does not get jealous easily, and it takes a lot to upset him. I want to be like Mr. Scott when I grow up, because he is my role model. Hopefully, one day I will get the chance to be someone’s hero.