It seems the hip thing to do nowadays is to give advice on subjects that are somewhat outside of your realm of experience. So, I figured if five gay guys can have a TV show about what men should do to make a woman happy, I was qualified enough to write an article about the singles scene on the northshore, even though I've been married for nearly 10 years. The magazine editors said they asked me because, as a member of local band Four Unplugged, I am in bars so much. (Mom would be proud.) Even so, I do put my wine glass down long enough to get out to other types of social occasions. But just to make sure I cover all the bases, I've asked northshore singles from Slidell to Hammond and from young to young-at-heart to contribute with their favorite activities and places to see, be seen and have a little fun.

The college scene

I guess we should just start at the beginning, so-remember college, when it was easy to meet people? Take Southeastern, for example. Forget the old "Do you have the notes from Friday's class?" line. More than 100 campus organizations cater to interests from politics, religion and community service to soccer, singing and serious socializing. There are also seven fraternities and seven sororities, and a campus activities board with a calendar full of events sure to be stocked with other young singles.

Hey, guys! Ever hear a woman say she wants a man who can make her laugh? Simpleromance.com ranks "good sense of humor" as the fourth-most-important characteristic women are seeking. If that's true, Southeastern even has you covered there, with Project Improv, a club to help hone your funnyman skills.

If it's nightlife you're looking for, Hammond has been hopping for decades. Having worked at Mickey's Sports Bar and Wall Street Grill and Taproom for five years while attending Southeastern, Aimee Jolly could be considered an expert on the subject. She says the first few weeks of school are the best for meeting people, because the places are packed. The idea is not to meet your soul mate, but just to meet as many new people as possible. Aimee says, "When I first started at Southeastern, my suite mates and I went out about once or twice a week. Not only did we meet a lot of guys, but we also met girls who ended up becoming good friends ... Some of my suite mates met guys they began to date. I ended up becoming roommates with some of the girls I had met."

But happy endings are not always a given. Aimee has witnessed the agony of defeat, and some heated encounters, as well. "I've seen a guy spend money all night on a girl and then get turned down when he asks for a date. I've seen a girl throw a drink in her boyfriend's face because he ‘looked' at another girl."

After years of witnessing the adventures of others, Aimee found a happy ending of her own. A regular customer began to visit even more frequently after he formed a friendship with her. "The funny thing about it was that he asked me out one night after I had closed the bar, so our first date was at Waffle House. Exactly one year and a day later, he proposed. Some people may say a bar isn't a good place to find ‘the right one,' but I met the most wonderful man there."

Mid-to-late 20s hangouts

Those who don't meet a sweetheart in four short years, but have so much fun in college they just keep going and going, can at least graduate to the next level of dating. Chris Goode is a part-time student in New Orleans, part-time young professional in Madisonville and part-time bartender in Slidell- somebody has to pay for all that extra tuition. So what's hot for mid-to-late 20-somethings outside of Hammond? Although Chris has been spotted at all kinds of hip hangouts in the metro area, he says the northshore does have its advantages. "Staying closer to the house is nice, and then, since it's smaller, you see more of the same people out and have a better shot at getting to know them."

Aside from when he's pouring at Daiquiri's and Company, Chris says Olde Town is the place to meet other socializing Slidellians. "There are certain clubs like Heidelberg's and Olde Town Tavern that draw a somewhat older crowd. Then there's Time Out and Daiquiri Bay where you'll find a younger crowd. The Asylum is the dance club." He also cites Wall Street and Ruby's in Mandeville as personal favorites.

Latest up-and-coming spot in Olde Town? Smoke-N-Blues BBQ. Owners Ched Reeves, Duffy Ramizrez and Kirk Dunbar offer good food, a welcoming atmosphere and a growing line-up of live music. Want a strictly family-friendly experience? Slidell's new Inspirations Café is a coffee house with a café-style menu and no alcohol. They offer live music every weekend that often features contemporary Christian music.

Church groups

Christian music and music ministries are an increasingly popular expression of faith for people whose spirituality is at the core of their lifestyles. For those who require spirituality to be part of any significant relationship, church groups can provide a place to make meaningful friendships. One of the biggest and most active groups in the area can be found at First Baptist Church in Covington. Minister of single adults Glynn Robinson says, "Our people are looking to have a great experience with people who love God and are accepting and hospitable. We plan some events that are strictly social and others that combine the spiritual and social. As far as social events, we'll do anything from going to concerts and Zephyrs games to cookouts and bowling nights. We try to be very family-friendly, knowing that people have kids. We also do retreats. Of course, these take on a largely spiritual tone. They're usually designed to get a person away from the daily grind to get alone with God and other Christians and be refreshed and renewed."

Robinson makes a point to stress the deeper purpose that is at the heart of all church activities. "We encourage our people to serve in different capacities. There are opportunities to work with children and teenagers. Mission trip opportunities are available at the moment to Guatemala. Some of the single adults participate in our music ministry, as well as other important areas of service in the church. To sum it up, this is a great place to attend, but we want to challenge you in your walk with Christ to not just be an observer, but to serve God and others."

Fitness clubs

In the search for the self-fulfillment that leads to the healthiest of relationships, many people look for the mind-body-spirit connection. Fitness clubs continue to focus on the wellness of the whole self and provide an excellent opportunity to meet others who enjoy active lifestyles. The three biggest St. Tammany clubs are Crossgates in Slidell, and Pelican Athletic Club and Franco's in Mandeville. Each offers as many as 14 group classes per day; provides swimming, running, cycling and tennis programs; and boasts calendars full of athletic, educational, social and charitable events.

I asked somebody who's seen it all-church group, dance class, nightclub hopping and athletic club- to give his insight into making the most of the gym and dating experience in general. Here's what Mandeville's Henry Hudson has to say. "The most important thing is finding people who have the potential to be good friends. I enjoy working out, and having something in common is an important part of the equation. If you've never met this person before, it gives you a conversational starting point, too. In the club I can either ask for or maybe give advice on technique, and so forth. The key thing to remember is that you're trying to make new friends. It's not important if they're involved with someone or not, because one friend can lead to another and another and so on."

Okay, Henry, so let's say you're new in town. What are you supposed to do? After working up a nice sweat in body pump, confidently swing your moist gym towel over your shoulder, stand in the middle of the studio and announce your availability for Saturday night? "Well, another advantage to health clubs is the clubs within the club-for example, running and triathelete clubs. Both of these clubs-and there are many more-have scheduled events throughout the year." Henry is an accomplished triathelete; he adds that you don't need to actually run a triathlon to be involved. Organizers are almost always looking for volunteers to work on events like the local Crawfishman triathlon.

Henry concludes, "I've found that as long as I'm doing things I'm interested in, the worst thing that can happen is I might have a good time and just maybe meet some really nice people along the way. It's because I've made this network of friends that I'm comfortable going out to clubs to enjoy some of the northshore's many talented local artists. I always hear people say ‘I could never just go to this or that by myself.' Well, if you know that other friends are going to be there- married, single or otherwise-you're not really going by yourself. You're going to meet some old friends, and maybe some new ones."

Music, music, music

So what are some of those great local music venues Henry is referring to? Well, I can take over at this point and throw in my two cents. If friendly atmosphere is what you're looking for, visit the Columbia Street Tap Room in Covington. Owner Steve Ahrons does a great job of personally hosting a wide range of events that have the feel of a party at a friend's place. The Tap Room offers great food all week and live bands every Friday and Saturday. On Thursdays, Steve and Chef Mickey cook up a special menu to go along with a laid-back acoustic act. Don't let the casual atmosphere fool you- the cuisine is unbelievably prepared and presented and the prices are unbeatable.

Wall Street in Mandeville caters to a bit younger crowd with live bands and sometimes a dance DJ. And then there's Ruby's. I don't know if this Mandeville institution qualifies as a singles mecca, but if you're looking for friends who share your enthusiasm for good blues and rock, this might be the place to find them.

The northshore's most promising newcomer? After wild success in New Orleans, The Dock has opened a sister operation in Slidell-live music and all, of course.

The over-50 crowd

So we've covered a lot of geography and some of the more common interests that bring people together in social situations. But what happens once we're in our 50s and beyond? One group that's addressing the unique needs of this demographic group is the Mandeville Senior Center, directed by Angelo Cavaretta.

Cavaretta sees the facility as a focal point for meeting, making friends and self-improvement. AARP, the Council on Aging, Mandeville Senior Citizens and the New Image Seniors Club all sponsor activities at the center, including dance, exercise, art and self-awareness classes, as well as social events. He says the biggest hurdle is getting seniors over their apprehension about simply checking out the center. "They come here reluctantly, often forced by a son or daughter. Once they're here, I welcome them and ask if they'd like to register for a class or activity. They usually say, ‘I don't know,' and then they talk some more to the members and me. Before you know it, you can't keep them away. It's a chance to form a new group of friends like they had in high school. And yes, romances are kindled, and some end up in marriage."

Cavaretta says fitness is a big draw. The center has an exercise room, yoga and Tai Chi classes that are full; it has had to open another line-dance class. And don't think seniors are not serious about their dance classes. Tap dance is taught by a veteran of the Broadway stage, and the line-dance class competes regularly, including a performance at the Senior Olympics.

In his self-awareness class, Cavaretta teaches how to live in the moment. "If I can get them to stop dwelling on what they've endured in their lives, or what may be ahead now that they're in their 60s or 70s, I can show them there's a lot of fun to be had right here and right now. It's great to see the spark when they finally get that and begin to enjoy a great group of friends, and maybe some romance, too."

The bottom line

So what's the final verdict from the married lady? Take the advice of the folks I've talked to and don't miss the forest for the trees. Don't look so long and hard for "the one" that you miss all kinds of opportunities for fun, good friendship and personal growth along the way. Find something that you're interested in, then go out there, get involved and see what happens.

One last thing. What's the northshore's best-kept secret? Whatever Bar and Grill in Mariner's Village on the Mandeville lakefront. Cozy atmosphere, occasional live music, dinner specials and an incredibly romantic view of the marina and lake-perfect for a quiet sunset rendezvous.

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