OK, check out this job description:

Must have fun at work at all times. Friends and family attendance on the job is mandatory. Job sites include festivals, concerts, casinos, vacation resorts, restaurants and bars, catered events at fine hotels and country clubs and all sorts of parties. Dress code is casual to outrageous, with many clothes provided by corporate sponsor, Budweiser. Corporate sponsor also encourages consumption of their product and will provide chauffeured transportation (including the Clydesdale wagon), giveaways to distribute and free publicity. Workday is approximately one to four hours, one to two times a week. Periodic performance reviews will be conducted, with successful candidates rated on ability to reduce grown men and women to dancing, singing along, going on group vacations, eating and drinking more than necessary and occasionally dressing ridiculously. Payment will be in the form of cheers and applause – and sometimes you even get real money, too!

Want this job? Sounds great, huh? Well, I’m here to tell you it is! But I also thought it might be fun to give you an insider’s look at what goes on behind the scenes of the local band called Four Unplugged.
You don’t just wake up one day and decide to be in a successful band. The music bug usually bites at an early age. For me, it bit really early, with formal piano lessons at age four. Randy picked up the sticks at 10, Danny began axing at 12, Rick Samson started strumming at 15, Ricky crooned first at 16, and Dave began jamming — albeit on guitar — in high school, also. (See fourunplugged.com for official bios and history.)

The point is that, even though the job description reads a couple of days a week for a few hours, each performance is the culmination of a lifetime of practice, dedication, experience, and, of course, the best teacher – mistakes. Even when you get to the point when the pay is good, if you spread that out over all the equipment you’ve gone through over the years, the hours of rehearsal, the time on the road, the early days of playing to empty bar rooms, hours in the recording studio, band photos and fliers, renting rehearsal halls and the all important “suck up” presents to the significant other who’s left at home while you’re out in a bar or at some fancy catered affair – you still won’t come close to breaking even. That’s where the cheers and applause make up for it all.

But don’t think we’re automatically in everywhere we go. In fact, it wasn’t very long ago that we almost turned around and left a gig before we even unpacked! It all started with some bad weather. Due to a little storm called Isadore, the Wooden Boat Festival along with the Captain’s party scheduled for a Friday and Sunday were postponed. I had been in Rhode Island all week for work. (Yes, we all have full-time jobs that significantly cramp the time we’d like to spend at our real calling.) Along with the rest of our little band of weekend warriors, I was looking forward to the big party and fest. But with the event postponed, we would enjoy a rare weekend off. Well, that time off didn’t last for long.

When Dave, our resident booking agent — a whole other behind-the-scenes story — got the emergency call from the Grand Casino in Biloxi on Friday afternoon to fill in all weekend for a band that had cancelled, we were ready to hit the road. A last-minute call to spend the weekend at a great casino and resort sounded like a cool adventure.

Most of the time, gigs go according to plan, but when they don’t, everybody has to just roll with it. One of the difficult things about being in a band is compatibility. It’s like being in a marriage, except you have to get along with four or five other people, not just one. Two of the big issues are flexibility and tolerance for the unexpected. Like the time we were playing the Krewe of Tucks ball in New Orleans with Jean “Don’t Mess with My Toot Toot” Knight and Oliver “Who Shot the LaLa” Morgan. We had rehearsed a little with Jean. She still threw us a few curves on stage, but the big challenge was Oliver. Oliver’s a New Orleans institution, but when he gets on stage you never know what’s going to happen. We wound up playing different arrangements in different keys and even had to do an impromptu version of “Blueberry Hill” because Oliver just started singing it.

Well, it’s a good thing we’re flexible. We needed it at the Biloxi Grand. On the drive up, we planned a little gambling, maybe a massage, some quality time at the pool and the BUFFETS! So, we’re circling the parking lot, because the directions are kind of sketchy, and figure we’re at the wrong place, because on the sign next to the bar’s name, Wild Coyotes, is a big ol’ pair of cowboy boots. So we send Randy in for directions.

When he comes out he’s kind of pale and dazed looking and says, “Well, this is the place, but everybody in there has on cowboy hats and three people already asked me what two-step songs we’re going to play.” So now this is turning into a scene from the Blues Brothers. We only know about two country songs and since we didn’t have our chicken wire with us to block the beer bottles we knew would get hurtled at us, rumblings of “Let’s go home,” could be heard amongst our disheartened group. If any of you know Ricky, you’re thinking he would never miss the opportunity to play - even if it was at the risk of personal injury. But until the booking agent showed up, even Ricky was leery. It was then explained to us that there was a golf tournament booked at the casino that requested a non-country band to play at their nighttime party. Well, Mr. Booking Agent, why didn’t you say so earlier? Sure we’ll stay!

We rushed to load in and sound check, and Glenn, our trusty soundman, worked feverishly to plug us all in - which brings up the question, “So what’s that whole ‘Unplugged’ thing about?” When the band started over five years ago, we had a different line-up consisting of Ricky, Rick Samson, Will Cullen (of Saddle Tramps fame and now with Big Wheel) and myself. So, yes, there were only four of us and we played “unplugged” versions of songs as made popular by the show MTV Unplugged. The band took on a life of its own since then and has grown, but the name remains the same.

Back to the story. We did a sound check with about 15 minutes to spare before show time, but we still had to change clothes and eat dinner - it was nearly 10 o’clock. Shirley Samson came to the rescue by checking us into our rooms during setup, so we ran to the hotel across the street and put on our show clothes in record time, making it back to the casino in time to play, but not to eat. This was a personal blow to me, but the show must go on.

Back at the Wild Coyote, we still had to finesse the situation, because the golfers didn’t come out until our second set. So, for the whole first hour we had to play to a roomful of cowboy hats. Did you know you could two-step to “Margaritaville,” “Stand By Me” and “Brown-Eyed Girl”? Yeah, well, neither did we, but we played as many quasi-country songs as we could muster. “Keep Your Hands to Yourself” was a big hit, along with Garth Brook’s “Friends in Low Places.” Then we slowly transitioned into the rock and dance tunes as the golfers rolled in. By the end of the night, amidst the applause of the swingers, could be heard a “yee-hah” or two from a converted cowboy.

You’ve probably heard the phrase, “there’s nothing new under the sun,” especially when applied to art and music. However, I believe that I can safely say Danny achieved a first at Four Unplugged’s recent toga party at the Columbia Street Taproom. I would bet that no one has ever played a talk box as featured in Peter Frampton’s classic “Do You Feel Like We Do” in a toga and army boots. I’m pretty sure lightning struck twice when the talk box debuted at the Wild Coyote. Hey, I said it before - it’s all about flexibility.

Sometimes, flexibility means traveling at the drop of a hat, sometimes it means playing in uncomfortable situations while sporting a big smile. Sometimes it means both. With the stress of the previous workweek, and our trepidation at the impending situation, some of us did our sponsor Budweiser proud that night.

That and our efforts, coupled with the lack of dinner, made for some hungry campers at 2 a.m. Thank goodness for the all-night breakfast buffet! I must say that, along with being a great front man, Ricky is an excellent hunter-gatherer. As at this gig, we are often forced to go without until late in the night. But, if the door of opportunity is opened even just a little crack, Ricky can stealthily score a party sandwich, a hot hors d’oeuvre or a plate of pasta that I can inhale in about 30 seconds between songs. What a team we are!

Saturday went much more smoothly, due to our experience the night before and the careful planning to schedule both the Marketplace buffet for lunch and the Seafood buffet for dinner BEFORE we played a note that night. By the time we left on Sunday, we had made some new friends and had been asked to play at other Grand Casino properties, including cruise ships and resorts. So amidst the Budweiser and the buffets, I guess there’s a life lesson here. (Don’t worry, I’m not going to get too sappy.) Most of the time the job description is going to paint a rosier picture than reality, but if you approach the job with some flexibility and a big smile it may turn out better than you expected. It’s all about the feeling you get when you stretch, avoid the easiest path and conquer the challenge. So go out there and take a class, start a workout program, speak in front of a group, paint that canvas or volunteer for your favorite charity. It may not be easy, but instead of getting beer bottles thrown at you, I’ll bet you get a few “Yee-hahs.”

Copyright 2003, M&L Publishing, all rights reserved.